Grandparents Day Tribute: The Matriarch Of Our Family

 

A Tribute to ‘GG’

The matriarch of our family, my grandmother's birth name is Hazel after her beautiful hazel eyes. We now refer to her as 'GG'. GG is the abbreviation for 'great-grandma', which was first given to Jordan (the 4th generation of my maternal lineage) to distinguish my grandmother from my mother.  But GG has now become her official nickname of the family. :-) 

For as long as I can remember, GG has been my rock, my cheerleader, my role model.  I have so many fond memories of my life with her, so where do I begin?  Is it the first song she taught me, "Away in the manger no crib for His head, the little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head...”? Is it her impeccable style (the original Carrie Bradshaw)? Is it how she took good care of my grandfather up until he succumbed to cancer in 1981? OR is it the most vivid memory I still see today-Getting on her knees to say her nightly prayers? 

Prior to my grandfather’s death in 1981, GG did everything with my grandfather.  After his death I saw this 59 year old beautiful woman evolve, beginning a new chapter of her life and slowly gaining her independence by retiring from her job of 25 years, serving as president of several faith based organizations, joining a travel club, learning to drive, playing golf and even dating! For GG, life began at 59 and she lived the next 14 years of her life to the FULLEST!!! She was always there for all of the major highs and lows of my life ( college graduation, wedding, marriage, divorce, receiving the Right Hand of Fellowship at my church, the purchase of my first home,to name a few).

In 2004, after being diagnosed with dementia, GG came to live with me. GG living with me was an adjustment for us both. But I vowed to give her the same life she gave to me.  I registered GG for membership at the local senior center and made sure she was impeccably dressed and participated in every activity from bowling to plays to shopping trips to weekly luncheons and teas. I arranged for the senior bus to pick GG up daily and transport her to the center.  On Sunday's we had a routine where we went to church and then to breakfast and then I cooked dinner EVERY Sunday for us to enjoy.  On my Monday's off we went shopping and had lots of "GG and me" time.  But the time I treasured most was our weekly impromptu bible study. I would peep into GG's room to see if she was asleep only to find her reading her Bible. That prompted me to get my Bible and join her for reading and follow up discussion.

 In September of 2008, GG moved to Florida to live with her daughter, my mother so I only get to see her 4-5 times per year.  And with each passing year I see that time and space has caught up with my diva. GG’s physical health had always been great and she always looked 10 to 15 years younger than her actual age so much so that people always thought my mom and I were sisters and GG was our mother! 

Fast forward to July, 2011:

On July 25, my mom called to say that she had called an ambulance to take GG to the emergency room.  The next telephone call from my mom was to inform me that the doctors wanted my mom to start looking for hospice care for GG. I immediately booked a one way ticket to Orlando! When I arrived at the hospital, I saw a frail woman hooked up to all kinds of machines, with doctors and nurses coming in frequently to check vitals, administer medications and consult with my mom and me.  I thought it would be my last visit with GG and I placed a pair of rosary beads around her neck, held her hands and prayed, told her I loved her and kissed her on the forehead as I had done nightly when she lived with me.  The next morning my mom and I went to interview hospice centers before driving to the hospital.  GG was in so much pain that my mom and I stayed until late into the night to comfort her where possible.  Before we left the hospital, I held GG’s hands, prayed, told her I loved her and kissed her on the forehead and then GG opened her eyes and asked, “What time will I see you tomorrow?” I responded, “First thing in the morning!” 

Before I went to bed that night, I asked God to take GG out of her pain, WHATEVER that meant.  I could no longer see her suffer.  The next morning when my mom and I arrived at the hospital, GG was unhooked from every machine and was sitting in the chair eating breakfast.  The day after, the hospice recommendation was changed to ‘rehabilitation’ inpatient care for 3 weeks and then ongoing care as an outpatient.  GG checked into a facility near the hospital and had 3 weeks of speech, physical and occupational therapy.  Once I felt comfortable with GG’s progress, I returned to DC and told everyone of God’s healing power!! 

On September 1, 2011 I received a picture message of GG getting a mani/pedi before going to church that evening to hear Marvin Sapp… Two days later GG and I were enjoying a seafood bake at a Labor Day cookout!  


By Tracie Coleman

Grandparents Day Special Tribute to Amelia A. Roach (1937 - 2008) Pt. 3 of 3

Mom Amelia with her daughter, grandson, and great-granddaughter

Whitney Deas:

Mom Mom, It’s difficult to try to put how I feel and what I think about her into such short words.  Mom Mom has always played a great role in my life, whether it be a leader, a mother, a faithful Christian, or simply my Mom Mom.  But the memory that is strongest to me is as a little girl, whenever it was time for me and Mom Mom to say goodbye we’d tell each other ‘I love you with all my heart!’  So, Mom Mom, until next time: I love you with all of my heart.    

Stephane Deas:

I will always remember Mom Mom in her truest form; strong, wise, and beautiful. 

She’s always been a shining example of how a female should act and behave.  I’m so proud to have such a strong role model in my life.  Words can not express how much my lovely grandmother has given me or how much she has showed me.  The unconditional love in her heart spilled through her words and actions.  Mom Mom is one of the greatest women I know.  I will forever remember her smile, her laugh, her voice.  I love you Mom Mom and I appreciate the everlasting influence of your love in my life.

Grandmom hanging out with her grands.

Jessica Johnson:

How do you find the words to talk about such a special woman like my Mom Mom? She was such an amazing woman. The thing that I can remember about her is the unconditional love that she had for me or anyone else that she knew. No matter what you did she was always there for me when I needed to talk, laugh, cry, or needed a stern talking to. One moment that will be special to me is when my grandmother led me into the baptism of the Holy Spirit. That meant so much to both of us for me to become closer to the Lord. So no matter if we were having a spiritual talk or just a nice chat, she was always a good spiritual leader, a great friend, and the best Mom Mom. I LOVE YOU MOM MOM AND YOU WILL BE GREATLY MISSED BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!

Mom Mom imparted her gift of music to her family.

 Tope Seriki:

        My first experience with Mom Mom was when I was much younger (around 4 or 5 years of age) and my sister, Mom, and I would ride up to Delaware for our annual family day. I always remembered singing in the choir and listening to Mom Mom play the piano or direct the choir.

        Secondly, I can recall when Teri Dredden was getting married and Mom Mom had gotten her hair done, but was dissatisfied with the outcome the lady who had done her hair tried to bleach her hair but it turned purple. But with Mom Mom being as glamorous as she was, pulled it off and looked wonderful and like a diva as always.

         My last major experience with Mom Mom was at her 70^th birthday party in Maryland. I can remember her smile when she walked into the room. She was so happy to see all of her children, grand-children, family, and friends. She opened her gifts, fellowshipped with friends, and ate.  You could tell that she was just happy to be with us all. And that’s what she liked, just to be around people whom she loved.

Mom Mom, you’ll forever remain in our hearts and memories as we live the lessons you’ve taught and experienced for us.  Since your passing, there are more great-grandchildren who will hear about their great-grandmother. We pray that we will allow Christ to lead our lives as you did.  We pray that God will use us to leave a strong legacy with our loved ones as He did through you.  

Legacy

Grandparents Day Special Tribute to Amelia A. Roach (1937 - 2008) Pt. 1 of 3

Mom Mom

Amelia Anne Roach: a name that could put a smile on every face. She filled several roles in her lifetime: prayer partner, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, confidante, and friend. To us, she is our grandmother; she’s our Mom Mom. Already we miss her for being one of the centerpieces in our lives thus far, and it’s hard to imagine reaching other milestones in life without being able to turn and see her smiling her approval and telling us, “I knew you could do it.” As a matter of fact, it’s hard to imagine a holiday where she and Aunt Carol aren’t retelling all of the embarrassing stories from our childhoods in front of whoever’s there, detail for detail, like they happened yesterday. And who could forget her signature way of asking us to run an errand for her: “Don’t you wanna…?” Mom Mom brought laughter into our lives, music, love; she even helped us be introduced to Christ. We each have our own reasons for loving and remembering Mom Mom, and in her honor, we’d like to share some with you now.

 Krystina Seriki:

 My favorite memory of my lovely grandmother is how whenever she was introduced to people for the first time they will always tell her how beautiful of a woman she was. One thing I will always remember of my grandmother that she was a beautiful woman and had the smoothest skin a person could have. One thing I learn from my grandmother was to always carry myself as a well respected, strong black woman as she did. 

Desiree Roach:

I learned a great deal from my grandmother but the lesson that I remember the most is her teaching me about my culture. I was raised with my mother and because I am mixed, I didn’t have many opportunities to explore my African American culture. When I would visit my grandmother on school vacations or special occasions, she would always have pieces of information pertaining to where I came from and what I was truly made of, and for that I am forever thankful. In the end I learned that I was a piece of her which is all I needed to know.

A Tribute To Big Mama (Reprinted from September 10, 2009--Grandparent's Day)

Today I want to pay tribute to the first woman who showed me unconditional love. I grew up calling her Big Mama. Her name was Elmira Thompson. I was born in February of 1965 in Norman, Oklahoma and Big Mama took me in at four days old. She was about 69 years old according to my calculations. Big Mama had already raised her children. In fact, she had five grown children, grown grandchildren and had been widowed for a number of years. But, her heart led her to take in a newborn. A newborn. Wow! That's amazing to me based on what I know about newborns. I don’t have any children but I have been around my friends when they had their kids and I spent a lot of time with them and their children. Newborns require a lot of attention. In the first two – three months, you are pretty much sleep deprived. Big Mama knew all of this and yet she opened her heart and home to care for someone else’s child who was no relation to her. That’s amazing to me.

At this stage in my life, I am forty-four years old, I reflect on this because I can now fully appreciate the kind of love she had and the sacrifice and commitment she made. She knew that this meant she would have to make bottles and do several midnight feedings. She would have to change “poop” diapers (I hate those) and stay up all night with a crying sick baby. She would no longer be free to come and go as she wanted because she had a baby now. Again. And speaking of diapers… In the late sixties, they did not have Huggies and a diaper “genie”. They were the diaper “genies”. The white cloth diapers they used had to be bleached and washed. No plastic disposable little Playtex fillers for them. Bottles had to be washed and sterilized. Yet, knowing all the work I would be, she still accepted the responsibility and opened her loving arms to me.

All of my memories of Big Mama are loving even though we went through some challenges together. Big Mama and I lived together in a small house in Sandtown, Oklahoma. Based on my recollection the house only had one bedroom. There could have been one more bedroom, but I’m not sure of this. She had an upright piano. I remember this because I spent a lot of time banging, I mean, making music on the piano. When I was about three years old, our house burned down. I guess I should say “her house burned down”, but I lived there and it was just she and I. So, it was “our house”. I can still picture some of the scene today. I am sure that that was devastating to her. She lost practically everything she owned in that fire. Thankfully, we got out of the house without any injury.

I have another memory of when I was about three or four years old of sitting in church and crying my eyes out because I had seen my sister (who is 11 months older) put a piece of Brach Butterscotch candy in her mouth. My aunt who was also Big Mama’s daughter-in-law and the Pastor’s wife, always gave us this type of candy as a treat. Well, this particular day she had given a piece of candy to my sister, Jackie, because she was sitting closer to her. I was on the other side of the church at the time and that’s probably why I did not get one. Of course, this bothered me because I felt like I was being left out. I immediately broke into tears. When Big Mama determined what was wrong, she reached in her purse and gave me a “church mint”. That’s what we call those red and white peppermints also made by Brachs. But that did not help. I wanted the yellow candy. So the tears kept flowing. Finally, everyone wanted to know what was wrong with me. Aunt Josie sent over a yellow piece of candy and I was fine after that.

I don’t have any memories of Big Mama disciplining me. I’m sure she did. I do remember one night that she got upset with me. She must have told me to do something or go get something. Apparently I responded with a smart remark. I don’t remember the details. But I do remember Big Mama running toward the bedroom to get a switch. On the way, she fell and did not get up right away. I rushed over to see what was wrong. Big Mama stayed on the floor. We were talking but it seemed like she could not get up. I remember crying very hard. Of course, I was sorry for whatever I had done, but foremost at that time I was scared because it appeared that Big Mama was hurt. You know that kids can sense fear and when something is wrong. I guess I was sensing that something was wrong with Big Mama. We were supposed to go to church that night but we did not go. Aunt Na (the woman I would later call Mama) pulled up outside and my sister came to the door to let us know they had come to take us to church. Big Mama was still on the floor but she was in a sitting position by this time. I was on my knees beside her. Jackie asked what we were doing on the floor and I said that we were looking for something. I was scared because I knew that if Aunt Na found out that I had done something to make Big Mama upset, I would get a beating. I escaped peril that night. Big Mama covered me.

The bottom line was that Big Mama's health was beginning to fail. I was five or six years old at this time. We were now living in a pink two bedroom house on 18th Street in Oklahoma City. It was soon after this that I went to live with Jackie and Aunt Na. Big Mama went to live with her daughter, Aunt Myrle, in Gary, Indiana. Big Mama lived several more years, but her health was never the same. She died in January of 1978 shortly before my 13th birthday.

I have very fond memories of her and I wished she had lived longer. Now, I can really appreciate what she did for me and I longed to show her my appreciation for her unconditional love and sacrifice. I regret that she died when I was so young. I shall never forget her. Big Mama was love.